I did everyone in here (and more…)

There is no better reason and place for humor with neat pranks and practical jokes as in a relationship. Obviously the weight and intensity of your pranks might invite laughter and mutual joy or, on the other hand, destroy love in a single sweep of wrongfully applied humoresque genius (well, at least you end it having a ball, most other break-ups make someone cry).

Now, here is the idea. It works for gal’s and guys alike. You need to be in an unfamiliar public setting for your true-love. It wouldn’t hurt to put this into a more formal setting like an office party, company’s Christmas party, neighborhood reception, large family reunion or the likes.

It needs to be known to your girl or boy that you’ve been around (just not how much… yet).

Early in the event, prior to major introductions, pull her/him aside and secretly ask for solidarity with one of the participants in there for she/he might not over you yet after going out for a short while last year.

Your true-love might (or might not) understand the delicate situation and agree not to show affection to you too obviously in presence of that person in respect of his/her feelings. You should thankfully appreciate the effort.

Minutes later now, pulling her/him aside again, point towards someone else asking for the same respect and understanding because you dated him/her as well, but it’s long over, you just don’t know if it didn’t make the other person uncomfortable.

You could start creating little stories about why it all ended or about one-night-stands and some such. Asking for forgiveness to put your new love into this situation might ease the discomfort (while you can) a bit.

Now repeat this as many times as your creativity produces these little stories of drunken encounters and spontaneous affinities, deep romantic tales without happy endings and ugly break-up descriptions. Put some weight into your own feelings but also into the feelings of the others always asking for respect and understanding.

Of course you will ensure your true-love that you feel miserable having put her/him into this uncomfortable situation.

A great resolution might start with some elaboration on drama, irritating tragic developments in the past, gay encounters or any other unbelievable nonsense. The more drastic the examples, the quicker the prank resolves as it will become too unbelievable.

On the other hand you could always play this forever of course… It’s really your call as to how quickly and irreversible you want to piss off your new love.

On second thought: this scheme might make a great self competition. How many girl/guys can you lose, piss-off, scare away in a month? Better even, how many years can you run this show without appearing in court, the local news papers or being severely beaten by a horde of angry female mobsters?

If you really want to take it all the way, here is how you can make stunningly sure that you won’t find a new mate in a long time:

After resolution make it public right there on the spot to the whole crowd rolling over laughing and in tears. You’ll get home that night with at least one black eye, some weird new friends who might just be authors at this website here and without a standing chance to date again soon.

Enjoy!